


Detective Douche is Home.

by ACourtofBooksandFae



Series: Douchifer Journey [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety Attacks, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, Feels, Hurt Dan Espinoza, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn With Feels, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Chloe Decker, Protective Lucifer, Rape Aftermath, Romance, Sex, Supportive Chloe Decker, description of Rape, loving relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 04:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30117477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACourtofBooksandFae/pseuds/ACourtofBooksandFae
Summary: I apologize, I am awful with titles.So this is a continuing of the story Detective Douche is Taken, which has rape / non con elements- I posted that on its own so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.This story involved Dan trying to deal with the aftermath of Micheal impersonating Lucifer, tying him down and raping him (while pretending to be Lucifer)- there are mentions to the rape, descriptions of panic attacks, but also a growth and development of Dan and Lucifer....anyway- I won't give too much away here.... enjoy.
Relationships: Dan Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar, Dan Espinoza/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Douchifer Journey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212185
Comments: 11
Kudos: 26





	1. Numb

**Author's Note:**

> There may be triggers in this story, description of PTSD, panic attacks and mentions of past rape.
> 
> This story is a continuation of Detective Douche is Taken (in this collection) which does contain rape/non con

Dan woke to an incessant beeping noise, a bright glare- he deduced he was in the hospital. He didn't open his eyes, but he knew from the beeping and the awful buzz of lights above him.

He wasn't ready.

He tried not to breath, not to move.

As soon as he moved it would be real. _No_. He was adamant, almost stubborn in his conviction- he didn't want this to be real. Michael didn't get to do this to him. To their relationship.

While still lying still, he explored his body, through his mind. He couldn't feel any pain, which was a bonus- he couldn't feel much of anything, actually...he frantically opened his eyes to check he still had legs and, though he couldn't feel them, they were there under a thin sheet.

He didn't move his head, didn't dare, but he was sat up on pillows and could see around the room. It was bright and open- and he wasn't alone. Lucifer had hold of his left hand, his head laid on the mattress beside him, asleep. Dan noticed Lucifer wore a combination of clothes that were too small and scruffy, like he'd got them out of a lost property box. He wondered why. He looked tired, Dan noticed, Lucifers eyes, though closed, looked worn and grey- like they did after he watched all 12 seasons of _Bones_. Dan breathed a laugh. Lucifer was here with him, had saved him...had seen. _No_. Closing his mind from that thought, Dan looked away from Lucifer and around the room.

Chloe was there too, sat in a chair facing Dan at his right side, but further down near the end of the bed. She slept with her head at an uncomfortable looking angle, a book leant against her chest where she had fallen asleep reading it. _The Queen of Nothing_. He hadn't heard of it, but knowing Chloe it was a young adult book after her obsession with _Class of 3001_. He wondered who had Trixie.

He didn't want them to see him. Any of them, yet. He didn't want them to be here. He wasn't ready to....to face.....he felt his heart constrict, painfully.

_Oh great, now I'm having a heart attack,_ Dan thought to himself as the beeping intensified on the monitor behind him. Lucifer's head rose, his eyes blinking awake and Dan closed his eyes tightly and turned away.

“No, No, No!!!!!” Dan didn't want this to happen. He was full out panicking now, he tried not to but he thrashed his body in distress. His arm flew to his heart which was giving up on him. Lucifer couldn't see him like this, broken, raw _he couldn't- he wasn't._..

“Calm down, Dan. It's OK- It's Lucifer. It's OK”, Chloe said to him, her face close to his own, judging by the sound of her voice and the hot breath on his face. She was touching his arm, stroking him. It felt like fire. It hurt. His hairs stood on end.

“Don't touch me, _please_ , Chlo, don't touch me-”, he said, with no malice. It felt like needles on his skin.

A nurse came in and made herself known, he craned one eye open, facing his head fully away from his visitors.

“Does it hurt?”, the nurse asked, bluntly.

No, _and yes_....he couldn't feel his body. Felt numb, but, super sensitive? And his heart....

His head spun and he quickly bent over to throw up, just missing the mattress. It landed mostly on the floor...and the nurses shoes, he noted with a grimace.

“I can't, I can't, I can't-”, Dan shook his head, trying to express what he was thinking- feeling- but it was too much.

“It's alright, Detective. You don't have to do anything. We're going to help you.”, the nurse replied, calming him a little with her soothing, professional voice.

Dan peeked an eye open and looked around to just find Chloe close to him, her mouth open in shock, her hand over her mouth. She was glued like that for all of one second before she composed herself and stepped towards him.

“It's OK, I'm here, I won't touch you-” Chloe soothed.

“I can't Chloe, I can't …talk about this.” Dan struggled to even say that much.

“We don't have to. Dan, Please calm down.”, her eyes flicked worryingly to the screens, to the nurse.

Dan noted the monitors were still blaring at him. He focused on his breathing, attempting to centre himself. He took air in through his nose, holding for four seconds, released out his mouth for four seconds, and nothing for four seconds. He imagined drawing a square in his mind, breathing in for one line- the top line, holding for another, out for the bottom line and finishing the square.

He did four sets of these. He felt better.

He opened his eyes and the nurse smiled at him. The monitors were silent.

“Good technique,” She praised, checking the monitors closely, “You need rest. Push the button if you need me, Mr Espinoza.”

“Thank you,” Chloe blurted as the nurse swiftly headed out the door, probably in a rush to change her shoes.

“Thanks,” Dan mumbled, as she headed out of sight.

“I'm sorry.” Dan said.

“Do _not_ be sorry, “Chloe said a little too sternly. Dan winced at her tone, but she continued swiftly, “This is not your fault, Dan. And...we're here for you. Are- are you....um....” She faltered, struggling not to place a sympathetic hand on him.

“When can I leave?” Dan interrupted her, dropping his eyes to the bed linen....he wasn't Okay and wasn't going to answer that question. He needed to _go_.

“Where is- Where did Lucifer go?”, he wondered aloud.

“I'm here.”, a disembodied voice choked out through the hallways. Lucifer cleared his throat and added, “I'm just outside the door, darling.”

Dans' eyes flew back to Chloe's, his eyebrows rose high in question.

“We thought, when you saw him...you- We thought you couldn't look at his face because it looks like-” Chloe stopped and grimaced apologetically.

“Oh.”, Dan caught up and saw it from their perspective, “No. It wasn't that. I - I didn't want you to see me. Stupid really. I'm being stupid. Lucifer, come in- please.”

In one second flat, Lucifer was behind Chloe – _hiding_?- peeking around her with what appeared to be despair and concern.

“No, I can look at you. I know- I understand it-” Dan paused and breathed for what felt like a very long time, breathed the square in his mind. Two sets. “....Wasn't you.” He continued, as if he hadn't stopped at all. “I don't want to talk about it.”, he added softly, pleading.

“Okay.”, Chloe agreed, “That's OK.”

Lucifer looked between them, confused, but nodded softly in agreement, a supportive smile hitting the side of his lips.

“Shall we break you out of here then, Daniel?”, Lucifer asked with joking conspiracy in his voice. But it was forced. Dan could tell. That was OK, he could play the game if it got him out of here, into some clothes with a back, instead of the awful hospital gown they had put him in.

Chloe rolled her eyes and smiled at Dan, “They said you can leave when you wake up, we have pain killers bagged up for you and I'm taking Trixie, no arguments.”

“And you, my dear Daniel, are resting. Doctor Luci's orders.”, Lucifer chimed in.

“Actual trained medical doctors also recommended that.”, Chloe added, with a look towards Lucifer.

Dan smiled towards them easily, taking them in, their love and affection...his smile slowly falling as his skin seemed to prickle, his eyes began darting around the room as if he'd forgotten something. He didn't understand what was happening.

Concerned, Lucifer pulled forward and caught Dan's arm loosely, “Daniel?”

Daniel jolted and looked to where he'd been touched, his muscles in his arm tensing. He expected it to hurt again, but it didn't. He let out a breath.

“I want to go home. I'm tired.”, he sagged his head down onto the pillow, closing his eyes from the harsh light. He didn't see the concerned glances Lucifer and Chloe passed between them.


	2. Fresh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is allowed to go home after his ordeal and a brief respite in the hospital, though he is under strict orders to rest....and not be left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains reference to rape/non consent

Dan knew he needed to be man-handled a small amount in order to get out of the hospital. He knew it. But he didn't like it. He was weak and felt faint. He didn't breathe while it happened, as Lucifer and a nurse picked him up and placed him in a wheel chair they'd placed by the bed. Lucifer didn't need help, of course- his strong Devil was more than capable, but Lucifer had been hesitant to touch Dan and the nurse had mistaken it as a plea for assistance.

Dan had refused to get out of his hospital gown, having no clothes to change in to- but Lucifer had thrust a large grey hoodie into his arms and Dan had gratefully pulled it over his tense body. He felt better covered.

“Where?-”, Dan had started to ask.

“Gift shop,” Lucifer smirked, “I _love_ a little shop.”

Dan breathed a small, forced laugh, trust Lucifer to make a random Doctor Who reference at a time like this!

Under the Doctors advisement, Daniel should be monitored overnight. Lucifer had quickly offered to take him to the penthouse at Lux and treat him like the 'King he is'. Dan hoped Lucifer knew how un-King-like Dan actually felt, but trusted him to look after him nevertheless. Truth be told, he didn't want to go to his home. He hated going home to the dark and wasn't sure how he would manage being left to his own thoughts.

Physically, Dan mostly felt fine. _Peachy,_ he thought sardonically. A little tire. More than a little sore. He wouldn't think about what the nurse said about an all-liquid diet for a while. He didn't want to think about the bottom half of his bosy at all. As far as he was concerned, it didn't exist at the moment.

The pain killers were still helping him, but, he did feel weak- no more than after a good work out. He held in an indignant snort at his analogy of being raped to a strong workout. He shook his head, _don't think about it,_ he chided himself, grimacing.

“Are you alright? Do the bumps hurt?”, Lucifer asked noticing his pain, a blush coming to his face as soon as he'd asked. He knew why. Of course he did.

“Er...yeh, a little. Let's just get out of here.”, Dan spoke softly, closing his eyes again.

He was wheeled swiftly out of the hospital by Lucifer, Chloe skipping to keep up with them, as Dan held in an internal scream.

Lucifer and Chloe chatted away with each other at the hospital entrance, as Dan sat absentmindedly stroking the front of his hoodie. Dan wanted to get out of this place, the smell of disinfectant stinging his nose, he wanted fresh air. They were talking about medication and clean bandages. Dan desperately wanted to not think about anything, it was all too much, he didn't want to deal with this- he shouldn't have to! Maybe he could pretend it never happened.

 _Erase it completely,_ he thought as something touched his arm and he jerked it away from the unwanted feeling, his head whirled round to see his ex-wife staring at him.

“I'm sorry,” Chloe breathed, pulling back, “I was just saying- call me if you need me. Okay? _I love you._...I'm here for you”, Chloe looked at Dan as if she would give him a hug, then thought better of it. She left with a concerned look at Lucifer. Dan looked to the big, glass doors. He wanted to go outside.

Chloe pushed the door open and he felt fresh air hit his face. He thought it would be refreshing, but it just told him how clammy his skin was. He felt nauseous. She held the door open and Lucifer pushed them through and they headed in opposite directions in the parking lot. Lucifer didn't go very far to get to his car, having parked the corvette as close to the emergency doors as possible. Dan looked down to see a cross hatched road, and around to see an 'Ambulance Parking Only' sign. 

Lucifer stopped the chair close to the car and paused.

“Hold on one moment, Daniel.”, Lucifer politely requested as he moved round and opened the trunk hood. He then went to the passenger seat and gathered a pile of clothes and a blanket, they had blood on them. Lucifer hastily crushed them into his tiny boot and slammed it shut. When he looked towards Dan, it was with a hint of what Dan thought might have been pity. He held back his revulsion at that look as he went to get up, almost falling and being quickly caught by Lucifers' open arms.

“Thanks,” Dan huffed, “I'm still dizzy, I guess.”

“No problem whatsoever, dear Daniel, it is my pleasure to hold you. Let's get you into the car, shall we?”

After Dan had been safely placed in to the car, seat belt fastened for him like he was a child, he saw Lucifer slip the four parking tickets from under his windshield into the pocket of his strange ensemble.

The ride to Lux was quiet. At one point, Dan had quietly ask why Lucifer looked like a lost property box. It had been an attempt at a joke, but Lucifer's worried eyes spoke volumes and he regretted asking instantly.

“There was- a lot of blood on mine. A lot of it was mine- and ... his.”

 _But a lot of it wasn't_ , Dan added.

So he'd bled then. Good. Dan hoped he was dead. He grimaced- numb. Need to be numb. _Don't think about it...._

Lucifer gripped the steering wheel so tightly, Dan though there might be a ring shaped hole when he let go.

They barely spoke again on the ride, just a few affirmations that he was ready to get out the car and could get into the wheelchair himself, though, it was more of a fall sideways than a 'sit'. He choked back the pain, glad he was on painkillers if the small fall hurt that much.

Dan was thankful they could park in the garage and go straight up to the penthouse. In the elevator, he could feel the tension rolling off Lucifer's twitching body behind him.

 _This is my fault_ , Dan chided himself, he had barely said a word to Lucifer. And here he was being coddled, sat in a chair like some victim. He got angry, shoved himself up off the chair.

“Wohhh- Daniel. Are you-”

“Don't. Don't ask me if I'm OK, Lucifer!", he shouted louder than he had intended. He calmed down and said, "Let's- Let's leave this in the elevator, leave it behind us.”, Dan pointed to the chair but obviously meant more than that.

“I wish it were that simple, Daniel, I truly do-”, Lucifer replied, eyeing the chair. The ' _But_...' was left unspoken.

As the doors pinged open, Dan laughed a small sarcastic laugh, and breathed, “Yeah, I guess it would be better over here-”, Dan grabbed the chair and placed it outside the elevator- beside a desk and a bookshelf.

“Perfect!”, Dan exclaimed, eyeing it with glee. He clapped his hands and turned to look at Lucifer with a smile, “I need a shower! Care to join me?”

Lucifer stood with his mouth bobbing open and closed, like a fish.

“I- Yes- I certainly can if that's what you desire?”, Lucifer replied hesitantly.

“It is.”, Dan exclaimed, marching off toward the shower- trying his best to hide the dizziness he still felt.

~

Though, technically, they showered together, Lucifer was, for once, the perfect gentleman. No lewd remarks, no smirking and no touching! Dan was confused and frustrated by the end of their social distanced soak, only possible because of Lucifer's multiple shower heads. He just wanted things to be normal, he didn't want Michael to have won. He realized as they were toweling off, he didn't even know what had happened after he passed out. He went into the bedroom and found some of Lucifers clothes laid out for him- sweat pants and a white t shirt- it's lucky Lucifer had bulked out or non of his clothes would fit Dan. He remembered how Lucifer used to be a stick, no muscle- now he was defined- even his neck muscles were enviable. 

Lucifer joined him as Dan slipped the large hoodie back on over his fresh clothes. He pulled the strings tight, but didn't out the hood on. 

“Where is he, then?”, Dan asked, as calmly as possible, looking into his hands.

“Michael.”, Lucifer replied, without question.

“Yes.”, Dan answered anyway, turning to face Lucifer near the foot of the bed.

“I'm so sorry all this happened, Daniel. Truly, I can't explain the guilt that I feel...” Lucifer implored to Dan as if a faucet had been turned on high. He'd done well to hold it in until now, Dan thought.

“Please- Stop.” Dan raised his hand and grimaced, “I can't- Can't- Think about...that. Please just tell me what happened- To _him_.”

“I would have killed him. If there was a way. Azraels' knife.... For what he did to you. I wished to, Daniel. We...I had to get you to the hospital, so...we left him hurt, but-” Lucifers' eyes glowed red as he finished with a growl, “Not hurt enough.”

Dan could tell Lucifer wanted to say more. He raised his hand again to stop Lucifer, he severely wished he hadn't brought it up as his stomach felt like it had hot candle wax bubbling in it. He lowered his raised hand, placing it on his stomach and grimaced again, meeting eyes with Lucifer and realising he had every inch of the Devils attention. He quickly straightened, brushed off the pain with a flick of the hand and asked as normally as he could if Lucifer wanted a drink.

“Yes, I'll get them. Though with the pills, it's no alcohol I'm afraid.”, and then Satan himself rushed off to bring him a drink.

Dan eyed the bed, he felt deeply tired.

“Can I stay?”, Dan shouted to Lucifer from the bedroom.

Lucifer pouring drinks at the bar replied instantly, “Of course, Daniel. You must rest.”

Dan shouted back over the sound of pouring liquid, “Well, I didn't know if I'd get rest here, if you know what I mean. And I didn't want to be in the way.”

By the end of the sentence, Lucifer stood in front of Dan, a glass of fresh orange juice in each hand, looking like he'd grown two heads.

“Daniel, are you suggesting that I brought you here to fuck, and I wouldn't want you otherwise?”

Dan sighed, taking a glass and enjoying a long, desperate glug, “I just didn't know if I'd be in the way.”, he repeated sheepishly.

“Daniel, I know we are just getting started, but...I thought it was somewhat more than a _booty_ _call_...we, shared... _something_ , yes?”

Dan took himself and sat at the end of the bed, then he moved to lay down. Before his head hit the mattress in the middle of the bed, Lucifer had placed a pillow beneath him. He felt safe. Maybe even loved.

“It was early days,” Dan said, “But...”

“ _Was_.”, Lucifer repeated dejectedly.

“No,” Dan went to sit up but a hand on his shoulder kept him flat.

“Please rest, Daniel.”

“Ok, okay...just... No. That's not what I meant. It's all good. It was...new...and different, but, I still feel things for you, Lucifer. I just didn't want to scare you away.”

“Well, I think my brother has made things a little diffic-”, Dan placed his hand over Lucifers' lips, silencing him mid word.

“Will you lie with me?”, Dan asked.

Lucifer gave a soft smile and downed the remainder of his orange juice. He pulled Dan gently up to the top of the bed, finding the blanket to add on top of him. Dan tried not to feel the sparks of dread as his skin was pulled – Lucifer didn't hurt him, he had maneuvered him before. It went deeper than that. Much deeper.

“I see you are getting better at being touched,” Lucifer mused as he laid next to Dan, draping the blanket over both of them.

“Yes. That's something.”, Dan lied smoothly.

As he drifted away, he remembered Lucifer could taste lies.


End file.
